Dark Moon


“For he will command his angels concerning you  to guard you in all your ways.” Psalm 91:11 ESV

For quite sometime, the inspiration and the will to write was taken away from me. I say taken away because I don’t write for fun, fame or money. I write when an inspiration hit me. Most times, it will wake me up in the middle of the night or the early hours of the morning. When that voice overwhelms me with thoughts, I had to write. That lull in writing, some writers call it writers block, I call it worlds block. I was lost. I wander around. I’m present physically, but I was not there. You know what I am saying?

I’ll be very honest with you here, I am trying so hard to stay away from religious post. You know why? After publishing my book, that feeling of being questioned about my knowledge and ability to write as much as to how much I know about religion follows me around. Have you ever had that feeling? It’s just there. This and other more personal – “I need to find myself stuff”, you know what I’m saying?

In this time of invisibility and wandering and questioning….He let me be.

I mean…He did give me time off. No more middle of the night or early morning wake up calls. Nothing! Am I okay with that? Of course I was.

But you know, He has other plans. I don’t know then….but I know now.

I found out that He will distance himself from us when need be. He will let us do things our way. See things our way. Find things our way.

I learned that true, He will distance Himself, but….He won’t abandon us. He’s there on the sidelines….from the people who crossed our path again, to the people that we just met for the first time and to everything else that happened either planned or by coincidence…

He knows. He sees. He let it be. All for a reason.

All this happened, so we can get to know ourselves better. So that we may truly grasp the true meaning of understanding. So that we may realize that forgiveness is not just about saying I’m sorry and I forgive you. So that we see what genuine humility looks like. So that we may experience what love (without being love back) really looks like….you know one that is pure, genuine, kind, understanding, humble and forgiving.

I learned that we can try to take away God from our life…but…

God won’t let you…He just won’t!

And like the great, forgiving and loving Father that He always is…..

He is ever ready to pick up the pieces, mold it back together….

This time….sturdier, stronger, wiser….much much better.

And then….

the New Moon arises.

“And now, dear lady, I am not writing you a new command but one we have had from the beginning. I ask that we love one another. And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.” 2 John 5:6

All good things,

We must raise them…

By this time, you must have heard about the Turner case. You must have read posts about everyone’s disgusts about the sentence, his father’s letter, his remorseless speech to the judge and the victim’s awe-inspiring letter.

We must not forget that this is not about college partying, binge drinking, peer pressure and white privilege…this is about RAPE. Period.

Mr. Turner,

I have read and heard news of too many rapes happening everywhere. But, somehow this case hit me hard. You see, I am a mother. I carried her for nine months. Took very good care of her. Did my very best to raise her well. Nurture her. Educate her. Respect her. Love her with all my being. If I could shield her from all the pain and heartaches and dangers, I would. But deep down, I know I can’t. Soon, I will also be entrusting her to the world. Soon, she will be going to college. And soon enough she will face and learn what life is all about.

Real men, we must raise them

But, as a mother – I will teach and raise her to be a strong woman. She will know that her worth as a woman does not depend on how she looks and dresses. Though I believe that respect is earned and not given, this is not the case most of the time. That no matter what, there are people who were raised not to be respectful of others, this she already knows.

Real men look after women, not take advantage of them.

As a woman, she will know that real men don’t force themselves on women. Real men know how to take care and love women with up-most respect.  And real men who loves truly…waits.

As a mother, my heart breaks for this young lady. Just because of that “20 minute of action” she won’t be the same young lady that she was before your son took over her unconscious body. She will have to live with the trauma for the rest of her life.

Real men, condemns the wrong doings of other men. 

You see Mr. Turner, you are what’s wrong with this society. You, Brock and Judge Persky are what gives men a bad name.  Your son made a choice to violate an unconscious young woman in the sickest way possible. At that time, he already knew of his dreams of graduating, of joining the Olympics and of all the great opportunities that are ahead of him. But still, he made that choice to violate this young lady. He knows what he is doing. He chose his fate.  He must pay for it in the fairest way possible, even if that means he needs to register as a sex offender, even if it means he won’t be able to fulfill his dreams of becoming a Stanford graduate, even if it means not fulfilling his dreams of becoming an Olympian and even if it means he has to serve years in jail. Him not being able to eat, do the things he enjoyed, go to swim practice and taking away many opportunities from him is his own wrongdoing. And you know what is even sadder? You probably encourage it. You as a man of honor(?) should know that. Let this case be the turning point for you and Brock. Let this be a humbling experience to correct what is wrong and do what is right. You will be doing yourself and your son a favor. Perhaps save his life.

A loving mother