Dark Moon

moon4closerquote

“For he will command his angels concerning you  to guard you in all your ways.” Psalm 91:11 ESV

For quite sometime, the inspiration and the will to write was taken away from me. I say taken away because I don’t write for fun, fame or money. I write when an inspiration hit me. Most times, it will wake me up in the middle of the night or the early hours of the morning. When that voice overwhelms me with thoughts, I had to write. That lull in writing, some writers call it writers block, I call it worlds block. I was lost. I wander around. I’m present physically, but I was not there. You know what I am saying?

I’ll be very honest with you here, I am trying so hard to stay away from religious post. You know why? After publishing my book, that feeling of being questioned about my knowledge and ability to write as much as to how much I know about religion follows me around. Have you ever had that feeling? It’s just there. This and other more personal – “I need to find myself stuff”, you know what I’m saying?

In this time of invisibility and wandering and questioning….He let me be.

I mean…He did give me time off. No more middle of the night or early morning wake up calls. Nothing! Am I okay with that? Of course I was.

But you know, He has other plans. I don’t know then….but I know now.

I found out that He will distance himself from us when need be. He will let us do things our way. See things our way. Find things our way.

I learned that true, He will distance Himself, but….He won’t abandon us. He’s there on the sidelines….from the people who crossed our path again, to the people that we just met for the first time and to everything else that happened either planned or by coincidence…

He knows. He sees. He let it be. All for a reason.

All this happened, so we can get to know ourselves better. So that we may truly grasp the true meaning of understanding. So that we may realize that forgiveness is not just about saying I’m sorry and I forgive you. So that we see what genuine humility looks like. So that we may experience what love (without being love back) really looks like….you know one that is pure, genuine, kind, understanding, humble and forgiving.

I learned that we can try to take away God from our life…but…

God won’t let you…He just won’t!

And like the great, forgiving and loving Father that He always is…..

He is ever ready to pick up the pieces, mold it back together….

This time….sturdier, stronger, wiser….much much better.

And then….

the New Moon arises.

“And now, dear lady, I am not writing you a new command but one we have had from the beginning. I ask that we love one another. And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.” 2 John 5:6

All good things,
Charina

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Hid{den}

hiding

There is something about being real,

Which I thought to be true.

Genuinely speaking,

And be loving as I should.

Being raw is a sign of strength,

At least that’s what I believe so.

With trust and honesty,

I will be good to go.

I realized life is not all about being real,

And its not all the time true.

Being genuine and loving,

Can be tiring.

And being raw is a sign of weakness,

At least a lot of people think so.

Trust and honesty…

Better only for a certain few.

Sometimes, its better to be hidden…

Hidden in my own world

Where all is true.